Coach Teresa Sullivan hears many stories day after day. They all sound about the same: “I don’t like my job, but it gives me money to pay the bills”, “It’s stupid to work for interest and not get money”, “I have no talent for anything. I probably could have been doing something else, but what? ”,“ I have a family that I support, so I have to do work that I hate. ” Surely you hear such stories. Perhaps some of them are yours.
Such stories may look believable, especially to those who tell them, but in fact people are lying. People deceive themselves by saying that they are forced to continue working, careers, relationships in which they feel bad. How can you understand that this is a lie? Because a lie binds us to situations in which we are uncomfortable. When a person tells the truth, he is easy and pleasant. But it’s often easier to pretend to be a victim, they say, all cards are bats, in any case it’s all that you have or not other options, except for even more terrible ones, and everyone knows about it. Such stories often protect our ego: they allow us to feel better in a bad situation. Circumstances look as if they are not subject to our control or as if someone else is to blame, and we can do nothing about it. But this is how these stories turn into excuses and beliefs that can destroy us.
You can object: “I certainly do not lie to myself. In my story, every word is true. ” Then look carefully at your relationship, your home, your career, health, bank account. All this is an excellent indicator of your truthfulness in relation to yourself. If you are honest with yourself, then you are happy with what you see. If you are fooling yourself, then everything that you see, you do not like, you are disappointed with what you have and what you do. Everything that makes you feel discouraged and displeased, take it as evidence that your mood limits you. You can use this as an incentive to change. How to change your story? Speak it out loud and ask yourself: “Is this true?” (Hint: not true). There is a chance that you want to be more honest with yourself.
Let's get down to practice.
Here are the five most common types of lies to hear.
1. "I have not found the work of my life, I am mediocrity"
Is that really true? Do you have anything you like to do? Surely there is something that you do much better than your friends. If you had one free day that you could devote to yourself and do only what you want, what would you do?
Change your story. Instead of saying, “I have no call for anything,” say, “there are many things that I like.”
2. “I can’t afford to quit a job that I don’t like”
Oh really? Can you really make a living just by doing what you do now? Can't you cut back on running costs to feel a little more free? Does your body, your relationships, career aspirations allow you to stay at work that you don't like?
Try to think differently. Instead of “I can't quit this job,” say to yourself, “I have no right to stay on it.”
3. “It's too late to change anything”
Do you really believe that? What do you think, how many years of your life have you already lost on something you don't like? Now multiply this by 8765 (number of hours per year). Do you think this time is too short to change direction? Malkom Gladwell, a journalist and author of Geniuses and Outsiders, believes that minimal ability and 10,000 hours of practice are enough to become great. Never put off your goal just because the path to it takes a lot of time. Time will pass anyway. But it is better to spend it, going to the goal and have fun.
Instead of “it's too late,” tell yourself: “I'll start now. A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. ”
4. “Thinking about your own happiness is selfish. I have to take care of the family. "
Even stewardesses during a sudden drop in pressure in the cabin require that you first put on an oxygen mask yourself before helping others. How can you help your family or friends if you yourself are exhausted, sick, offended, or angry because you have not taken care of yourself? (hint: no way). How different would your life be if you knew how to enjoy it and accept what it gives.
Instead of thinking that living selfishly for yourself, say to yourself: “I am happy and live a full life, the best example for my children.”
5. "Now I hate my job, but I will be happy after I get the promotion / finish the project / earn bonuses / get a degree"
Are you sure? Only this separates you from happiness and love of work? Do you think that for a long time you will quench your hatred of work after you achieve these magical goals that supposedly make you happy? Experts fortunately say that such satisfaction is temporary. At
No comments:
Post a Comment