Everything you say matters. Whether it is an idea at a meeting or a dismissive commentary at dinner, all that has been said will complement the overall impression you make.
1. "What is the point?"
This phrase makes your interlocutors think that you are not able to understand the idea yourself, says career coach Tara Sophia More, while they would like to make sure that you understand everything. Instead, the expert recommends that you formulate your doubts differently: "What do you think about this?"
2. “This is unfair”
Your indignant scream is unlikely to change the situation. “Avoiding this phrase is for the simple reason that it’s better to refrain from complaining or, worse, passive whining, regardless of what really annoys you - troubles at work or problems of a planetary scale,” says Darlene Price, author of the article “Good it is said! Secrets of successful presentations and negotiations. ”
3. “I did not have time for this”
Most often it’s just a lie. If you have not found time to complete a task or have forgotten about it, it is better to set a date by which it will be completed, rather than explaining why it is too late to accept it.
4. “Simple”
“I just wanted to check”, “I just think” - the use of this word may seem completely harmless, but it distracts attention from what you say. “When we say“ simple, ”we are afraid that they will consider us stronger than we are,” says More. “The speaker seems to be in a defensive position and prefers to look a little whiny and insecure.” Get rid of this verbal parasite, and your speech will sound more weighty.
5. “But I sent an email a week ago”
If someone has not answered you, it is your concern to make sure that your request is received. Be proactive in communications, be proactive, and not make your colleagues feel guilty under the hail of your reproaches.
6. “I hate” or “annoys me”
Insults do not belong in the office, especially when they are aimed at a specific person or company activity. “They not only demonstrate immaturity, as in the schoolyard, but also create an explosive situation in the team,” says Price.
7. “I am not responsible for this”
Even if it’s really not your duty, the willingness to help means that you are a team player and can go the extra mile for the sake of a common cause. In the end, we are all responsible for him.
8. "You should have ..."
These accusatory reproaches rather inspire a sense of shame. Pronouncing them, as it were, points a finger at the guilty one, says Price. It is better to use a positive approach, for example: "In the future, I recommend ...".
9. "I could be wrong, but ..."
Price calls these words discounting. This means that they immediately reduce the impact of what you are about to say. “Avoid any pre-sentence phrases that reduce your credibility and the value of your contribution to the work,” she recommends.
10. "Sorry, but ..."
These words immediately set against you, you cause irritation of others. “Don't apologize for what you are going to do or say,” advises Mor.
11. “Actually,” “Actually.”
“Actually, it’s here” or “Actually, you can do this” - preceding the statement with these words, you create a distance between yourself and the listener, as if hinting that there is room for doubt. Try to give what you say a more positive attitude.
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